steveandheather.net

Archive for February, 2012

Coming Home

February 29, 2012 12:17 pm
Coming Home

We decided bringing home a small baby was rather scary so we opted for a mini cow instead.

I wasn’t born yesterday, or was I?

February 26, 2012 5:18 pm

The kid manages to kick off his baby-lojack hospital bracelet. I attempt to perform some sleight of hand and distract him while fixing the situation. He just looks at me with a raised eyebrow as if to say, “come on man, I wasn’t born yesterday.” He is so wrong.

Naming the child

4:14 pm

As with Jace, we didn’t have a name picked out prior to birth, just a list of potentials. We wanted to meet the kid before naming him.

I proposed that we sit the kid down on one side of the room, read off the list of possible names, and wait for him to run over to us when we call the name that he prefers most. There may have been a few problems with this approach. He did not give any clear indication that he was willing to play along, and I’m mildly concerned that if I try this sort of thing, he might just opt to go home with a different family. So we ended up picking his name for him. Welcome to the outside world, Trevor Alex Leibman.

 

Introducing Trevor Alex Leibman

February 25, 2012 1:24 pm
Introducing Trevor Alex Leibman

Trevor Alex Leibman
Born Saturday 2/25 at 5:24 pm
9 lbs 11 oz
22 inches long
1 very large noggin requiring surgical extraction from me as he just wasn’t gonna fit even though we tried for a long time.
Now happy and snuggly although apparently confused by the hiccups.

According to Steve, he came out as a calm, but mildly confused-looking boy, wondering what all the lights and fuss were about. Only cried when the nurses insisted on it, then went back to curious inspection of his surroundings.

Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2012 9:10 am

Jace: [While eating a breakfast of the leftover cereal not made into Rice Krispy treats the night before] When I grow up, I’m going to buy tons of Rice Krispies. Tons of them, because I’m going to marry Deb.

Steve: Really? You’d better find out whether Deb likes Rice Krispies.

Jace: Why?

Steve: Well, if you’re going to marry her and buy tons of Rice Krispies, doesn’t it seem like a good idea to find out whether she’d want them?

Jace: No, the Rice Krispies are for me.

Steve: Ah. Then what does that have to do with marrying Deb?

Jace: Uh, well. I am going to marry her.

Steve: Should I email Deb and tell her that you’re going to marry her?

Jace: [pauses... grins... pauses] Yes. You should email her.

Done. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Testing, testing…

February 13, 2012 10:31 pm

This is just a test. Nothing to see here.

A better bag

February 2, 2012 3:56 pm

While I was away putting clothes on, Jace reengineered the granola bag for easier pouring.

Jace’s Device Shop

February 1, 2012 3:58 pm

Jace is planning to open a store that sells devices. He has claimed the plot of land where we intend to build our garage for this purpose. The latest devices on the inventory list:

 

The Squawk-a-ma-honker:

Jace asked how people get down mountains after they have climbed up, assuming they haven’t brought along skis or a sled. I suggested that they could walk down. Maybe use a rope for extra security. He was concerned about it being icy and slippery, so I explained the use of crampons and ice axes, but he had a much better suggestion.

“We take my cow horn [cow-shaped handlebar-mounted bicycle horn] and fill the cow with hot water and attach a straw to the hole in the bottom. You squeeze the cow and hot water comes out and melts the ice and then you can just walk on the ground.”

What if it’s a big mountain with lots of ice?

“What’s that thing I bring soup in that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold? A thermos. You bring a thermos full of hot water and you can refill the Squawk-a-ma-honker.”

He went on to suggest that horns which no longer work for honking [R.I.P. orca-shaped horn] may still work as Sqawk-a-ma-honkers, so people could give us their horns that don’t work anymore and we could resell them as Squawk-a-ma-honkers.

The Home-ma-doodle:

Feb 2: This morning’s invention was prompted by the fact that Jace somehow managed to bring two sets of gloves to school instead of just one. He suggested that we needed to install a “Home-ma-doodle” system which consists of:

“tubes which go everywhere so that if you have extra gloves, you can just put them in the tubes, and they go back to your house.”

How do the gloves get there? Do they get blown through the tubes by air, or does your house have to be downhill from where you drop them in, or do mice carry them…?

“No, no, no, better than that… robots! The robots have wheels, and they have a flap that you put your gloves in, and they go through the tubes to your house, and then they have a long automatic arm that comes out and turns the knob to go into your room and open your drawer.”

What if instead of having extra gloves, you forgot your gloves — could the robots bring them to you from your house?

“Yes, and they have sensors, so if you forgot your gloves or your hat or — what’s that thing called that keeps your face warm? — your face warmer, then they can get the right thing. They have different magnets inside, and if they need to get your face warmer, they put the face warmer magnets in the hand on the automatic arm and stick it into your drawer, and then only the face warmer sticks to the hand, and then it opens up the flap on its back and sticks the face warmer in and then closes the flap and then goes through the tubes to get to you.”

The car-warming boot:

Feb 16: A few days ago we got in the car, and Jace complained, “turn on the heat, why can’t you warm up the car?” and I responded that the heat was on, but that it wouldn’t actually start blowing hot air until the engine warmed up a little, because the fan takes heat from the engine in order to warm us up. Today, we got in the car, and he was ready to tell me exactly how to go about warming things up faster.

“The part of the engine that gets most cold is the part that sticks out. The part in the back that the steam comes out.”

- Ah yes, that’s called the exhaust pipe.

“Yeah, the exhaust pipe. We need to take a boot and get an extra strong hole puncher and put holes in the boot so that the steam can still come out, and put the boot on the pipe so that it stays warm. But we can go like this for now, and you can use my suggestion when I’m a grownup, because then I’ll have to get new boots and you can use one of these boots. Or when I’m six. I’ll need new boots then.”

I thought it was a fairly well thought out plan. We didn’t have a chance to go into the details of an internal combustion engine quite yet, but I’m sure we’ll get there next week.

The “Telescope-Collider”:

“I’m going to make a machine that can see all the way into outer space. I’ll take a log, and make a hole in the log the long way, and then paint it, and wait for the first coat of paint to dry, and then paint letters on it, and then put glass in it, you know, like window glass except in a circle, and you look through that glass, because it fits in the end of the log and you can see through it, and it makes it so that you can see a super long way. And it will be called a Telescope-Collider! [in retrospect, I think he may have actually said a Telescope-Kaleido].”

I have a suspicion that this one may have already been invented.

(C) Steve and Heather Leibman, 2007.